"Before I was married, much of who I was, what I believed and understood was wrapped up in my father’s vision. Since marrying I’ve undergone a surgery of sorts to replace Dad’s vision with Pete’s.
My loyalties had to undergo a change. I was used to thinking that Dad knew best. Now I needed to learn to think that Pete knows best. I used to do things and invest my time in projects according to what I knew Dad would want me to do. Now I needed to be guided by what Pete wanted me to do. When faced with a problem or an option I couldn’t think, “What would Dad have done in this situation?” Now I had to think, “What would Pete do in this situation?” These were exciting times and difficult as during this state of flux—learning to replace one man’s vision with another—the devil would come around and say, “But what about what you want? What about what you think?” (retrieved from http://visionarydaughters.com/2008/08/the-adventures-of-a-pioneer-bride-down-under).
Interestingly enough, I am just ending a week where my husband came to my work to help me with my goals and then, I came home to help him with his. It saddens me to think that this vibrant (and obviously talented) young woman has decided that it is unChristian to think for one's self.
Now, I'm one of the first to call to mind the admonition that we are to esteem others as better than ourselves. That is a fundamental tenet of Christianity and should never be forgotten. But when we wrap our lives around the lives of one other, what happens when that one other dies? I hate to think what might happen if this young woman lost both her father and her husband. If only think about their wishes and dreams is all that is Christian, then how can she continue in her faith if they both are gone?
